A Story of Sentiment

A Story of Sentiment

I needed a reason to change
And you gave me one when you left like a power outage
I waited, but the air turned to fall and things got cold
And I couldn’t take the waiting because I missed everything about you
So I moved out of the room that painted pictures of us on the ceiling
And I put the letters you mailed to Colorado in the trash
Packed up a box of memories and moved
Didn’t really move on, but tried
And my heart took a siesta from all things beautiful
I listened to songs about places I’d never been
and people I’ve never known
and tried to want those things,
Tried to want anything but you

I needed a reason to get over you
And he gave me one
With cheap charm, he said he was content to talk
He took my trust and then everything else,
We made a cave of covers and built a city of secrets
Among the curious and their questions
We wrote lies like poetry and read them aloud to one another
Paid a price for the applause
He told me love is what he felt
But we got lost in an ocean of disappointment
because there’s danger in the dreamer
who forgets who he is
And we sold our souls for the company
Too frail to be alone
But too lazy to try because change needs a reason
It was a cold winter
like his room that never felt like home with only a poster on the wall
Clinging to the space heater and the fire of sin for warmth
but never found any
I took showers to wash you away

I needed a reason to leave you behind
And you gave me one
When your lips for lying forgot their lines
And your self-proclaimed faithfulness failed
I heard about her, heard about the movies and the park,
Heard about the part when you held her hand
And I heard the truth pinned up against the door of a dorm room by the hands of two angels, who spoke softly as reality and clarity finally had to collide
But you made it an easy ending
The sun shot up from the horizon’s hiding
And I don’t miss you, because it’s over now
Our Atlantis is lost at the bottom of somewhere
And pretty soon I won’t even remember that its there; that it ever existed at all
And I won’t ever go back to find it
I’ll build a new one without you,
with streets that never feel frozen
I’ll send you both a postcard from somewhere sunny

I needed a reason to start over
And I went looking for one
But caught myself before the fall
before another hook became my bait,
He was everything noble and right
And from his mouth came words like sweet tobacco smoke
that capture your cares and drift them heavenward
Words that quietly make sense of things
But his soul is a sanctuary and my hands are dirty
And he’s leaving for the coast again soon
So I’ll do what’s right for once and leave such quests to girls with softer curves and soft voices; girls with character and clean sheets
Who do quaint things like work at coffee shops and study too much
She won’t be like artwork that’s hard to understand

I still needed a reason to start over
And He gave me one
Like He had before
Because the promises He makes never fail
And He wakes up the sleepy sinner with a bang and a cup of tea for comfort
I hopped in a car with new people, looking for new life,
Found it in the friends and the faces, in the bright lights and the beats
And in a familiar River I forgot is always flowing,
Because His sky-scape never stops covering my head
And His universe spins on without hesitation
I told him I want Him now, but only if He’ll have me
Only if He will hold my hand
Because I hate it when He feels far away;
Hate it when I can’t feel Him at all
And I’m still learning to trust
So I think I’ll stay here at the well a while
soaking up the stars,
Making plans and making way,
I’ll try to avoid the roads that leave again
Try to avoid finding another
Because He’s so good to me.

I’ll sing a song of sentiment and rejoice in my reason,
because I love Him more than all the others,
I still need Him the most.

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