Reflections on Marriage

I’m thinking about my marriage a lot today.  Maybe because Jon and I are about to wade through the waters of transition in about two weeks when he goes back to college after being away from the world of higher education for about five years.  Maybe because we’ve been talking about going on a Family Life Weekend to Remember towards the end of this year because many couples that we know who have been married for a long time say it’s one of the best things they ever did together.  Maybe because we are approaching the one year mark at the end of May.  Or maybe it’s because I realized this morning that I still need to change my name at one of my banks and fill out one more form at the DMV.  Actually, I know what it is: it’s probably because I watched the season finale of The Bachelor last night so my heart is just inclined to daydream about love since I literally can’t stop thinking about Brad and Emily and hoping that their future works out together.  Whatever it is that’s sparking these thoughts about my marriage today, I suppose it’s good because it’s worth investing some thought into my life-long relationship with my husband.

Like I mentioned, in a couple weeks, beginning on Monday March 28 Jon will be going back to school to finish his college degree at Cal Poly.  It should take him just under three years to finish and it really was perfect timing from the Lord on this happening.  Jon has talked about it since I met him and after six long years of applying he got in!  And like he will tell you, school has never really been his thing, but now that he’s married and has the support of a loving wife he believes he will be able to make it through.  So I’m proud of him and excited for him in so many ways and I’m also dealing with myself as I internally battle this transition before I surrender to it.

Since we’ve been married Jon and I have lived in a pink floating dream bubble where we both wake up for work around the same time, we both work 8-5, and then in the evenings we either go to things together, hang out with friends together, or do daily tasks like grocery shop together.  And since we have successfully shared a single vehicle for almost a year, we inevitably drive everywhere together.  So while I’m thankful for this new opportunity that he has to pursue his dreams, I’m also shaking in my boots a bit just because part of me really doesn’t feel like sharing my together time with my husband with thousands of Cal Poly students or his homework.  Not to mention that  in order to make his very full schedule of working a full time job and going to school full time flow, I am in need of becoming utterly efficient in the planning and implementation of making lunches and dinners every day.  No more dabbling in the art of cooking.  We are about to go from zero to sixty.

I suppose it’s about time though and I do see the benefits of me needing to rely more on the Lord for strength and companionship.  I see myself growing up quite a bit during this time.  I see myself becoming more responsible.  I see myself developing character necessary for when I have children someday.  And I also see myself freaking out a bit along the way.  Expected.

But the timing really does feel right so I know after putting up a good fight I will surrender it all to the Lord and begin to thrive in getting to take care of my husband in new ways and supporting him through a challenging few years in both of our lives.  Because really I think I’m just scared of things changing because as much as I think about it I can’t figure out what it’s really going to be like yet.

However I am extremely grateful for our nine months in the pink floating dream bubble and I’m sure that there will be all sorts of unforeseen blessings from the Lord as we enter into this new season.  One already visible one being that Jon is going to get such a killer opportunity to reach out to some of the students in his classes.  I’m jealous to say the least.

So pray for us and pray for Brad & Emily.  Call me a dreamer but I think everything will work out just fine in the end for all of us.

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