Today I had my first baby appointment! It wasn’t like an official official baby appointment, but I went to a consultation/interview with the one mid-wife in my area who performs home births. Jon came with me.
He picked me up from work and hopped on the freeway. Then we got off the freeway because I insisted I needed Jamba Juice. Then, after pulling into the Jamba Juice parking lot I spotted Pita Pit and decided I needed Pita Pit instead. Once inside, I made Jon choose a pita for me because reading over all the choices made me gag. In the end, my pita ended up being pretty good. I mean, not as good as if I weren’t pregnant, but hey, I managed to eat it.
When we arrived at the clinic we were greeted by Edana, the head mid-wife and owner of the practice. She was very friendly and we took a seat on the couch in the main entry room. We were the only ones there so it was nice to just sit and talk with a professional and have an opportunity to ask some of the questions I’d been coming up with over the past few weeks. The appointment was only supposed to go about an hour, but we ended up staying over two just talking to her about the ins and outs of how she operates and what we could expect from her.
Jon had showed up with some reservations about the whole idea of home birth – and I had a few of my own too. Mostly stuff regarding common sense issues that revolved around the theme of: You definitely know what you’re doing, right???
But after about 30 minutes of talking with her I think we had both become fairly sold on the idea. A home birth is a complete paradigm shift from every scenario I’ve ever seen on TV,in the movies or in a textbook – with the exception of Lost. Jon keeps joking that the reason I want to give birth naturally is because Claire on Lost gave birth that way on the island. However, I remain strong in my reasoning which happens to go a bit deeper than Lost on this particular topic. Sorry Jon!
Mostly, I picture home birth being more comfortable, personal and intimate. (***Clearly I have no prior birthing experiences, nor do I think you have to choose a home birth to have a comfortable, personal or intimate experience) But when I picture my ideal setting, I keep coming back to my home for various reasons.
So we still have a lot to talk about, of course. Next week I have an appointment to see an OB/GYN and this weekend we have appointments to tour the two hospitals in town just so we make sure we explore all our options. But in my heart, I think my mind is made up.
Sometimes I hear a little voice that says,
“What are you crazy!? Suuurrrrrre, you want to do it natural now, but you just wait until you’re actually in labor.”
But then another part of me says,
“God made my body to do this. Women have been doing this since the beginning of humankind. What do I have to be afraid of?”
“Actually, there are some things to be afraid of…”
“Hmm…that could be true.”
“So what are you going to do Erin?”
“I don’t know. I guess go with my gut?”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
Not that one voice is the good voice and the other is bad – I’m just sharing the internal dialogue I have with myself on a daily basis at this point.
So I’m going to read up on some things, continue to pray about it and continue to just follow my heart and my gut instinct. What more can you do, really?