As I write this, I am sitting at a cozy coffee shop about 50 yards back from the shoreline. I’m facing the window so I can see the white, foamy waves crash against the sand. It’s overcast in Avila even though it was sunny in San Luis.
Cameron is sitting next to me in his stroller and every minute or two I reach over and pop another Cheerio into his mouth to keep him happy.
And the only reason I am here is because by 8:00am this morning I was about to lose my mind.
We traveled up to the San Fransisco Bay area over the weekend to visit Jon’s family and attend his cousin Gina’s engagement party. I love his Italian family. They are loud, chatty and welcoming in the best way possible. When everyone gets together, they make sure there’s lots of good food and wine and conversation. Sometimes I find myself being chatty too, and other times I like to just sit back and tune in and out of the three simultaneous conversations happening in the same room.
As we arrived home last night around 11:00, I instantly regretted drinking the massive Diet Coke I’d ordered from El Pollo Loco a few hours earlier. Jon went to bed and since I couldn’t sleep, I sat up and watched a few episodes of Friends while drinking a glass of wine to hopefully speed up the getting sleepy process. Since my normal bedtime is around 10 or 10:30 these days, I kept feeling regretful as the minutes ticked by and I still wasn’t tired.
Eventually the wine kicked in and I headed to bed around 1:00am – a horribly late time to go to bed when you have an infant who wakes up twice during the night and between five and six am for the day.
So when Cameron started calling from his crib at six, I regretfully flopped out of bed and trudged into the next room.
By 8:00am I was more exhausted than I was at 6. I spent the morning attempting to unpack from our trip, but with a baby who is crawling and into everything now, somehow the unpacking process ends up stretching over the span of the whole week. And I don’t enjoy that.
For every one thing I attempted to put away, Cameron got into three more. After a couple hours, somehow my apartment looked messier than it had when I had begun.
On top of that, I was quickly losing my patience as my son continued to bite me every time we came into contact. His four front teeth felt like little crab pinchers clamping down on my shoulders, arms and legs.
Because I could feel myself getting frustrated, I decided to stop trying to be productive and just get on the floor and play with Cam for a while. A few minutes later I was crying after getting bit on my face and having my cell phone smashed into my left eye. Who knew an 8 month old could be so scrappy!!!
I got my phone back from Cam and texted Jon for support. His recommendation was to ditch everything and just head to the beach. I love my husband.
So I covered my greasy hair with a baseball cap, threw on some mismatched clothes and retreated to the beach as quickly as possible in order to salvage my day. I ordered a latte and found a table facing the ocean so I could sit down to write.
(Moment of silence in honor of my happy place.)
I often wonder how moms of multiple children do it. I genuinely love being a mom and I genuinely love my son, but those days still exist where I’d rather call in sick, stay in my jammies all day and not be bothered by the endless tasks that stalk me…and I only have one child!
So why am I sharing all this? I don’t really know. Jon said writing might be good for me today, so I took his advice. I suppose it’s good not only to write about the wonderful and lovely days that I have, but also the ones that are messy, imperfect and a bit chaotic.
I don’t want my blog to be something where people come and feel really impressed with my life – I just want to be real. In fact, if my blog has ever come across as a place where I make myself sound oh so great, then I sincerely apologize to you. That is not my intention. The truth is that my life is incredibly blessed, but of course I struggle too. With some things I struggle really, really hard.
Actually, my friend from college, Megan, has a blog called Out Of Her Heart that has encouraged me to keep a humble perspective when writing. I didn’t know Megan too well in college, but I feel like I know her better than I actually do because she is really transparent in what she shares. This is one of my favorite recent posts she’s done about parenting.
In fact, while I’m mentioning blogs, my friend Amanda just started a blog called The Brilliant Mom. She’s only done a couple posts so far, but I’m interested to see where she goes with it. I know Amanda through church and since her son, Matthias, is a few months older than Cameron, she is my go-to person for tips and practical advice on mommy related things. She was an elementary school teacher before having her son a year ago and she’s also one of those natural “kid-people.” So, there you have it, I’ve shared my secret weapon (Amanda) with you! If you’re a mom, I can guarantee you’ll read something helpful or inspiring on her blog.
Anyway, back to…oh yes, the beach!
So I have no idea how long I’ll stay here. It’s starting to get sunny now so I might just stay here until I’m ready to put my Super Mom cape back on.